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Parody: Breed'em Like Sheep

Posted by:
Vin 03:50 am UTC 08/09/10

This was written back when the cloning of Dolly the sheep over in Scotland was big news, back in the late 90s, in case that's not terribly obvious.

We've gotten tired of waiting for a Jim song that's entirely new
We've worn out all of the covers, heard a few new live tracks
Woke up from sweaty, red-eyed dreams about a "Dead Ringer II"

And while we've done all this waiting
clever Jim fans have come up with a plan:
Gonna drag Jim off to Scotland to the Genetics lab...
We're gonna make some carbon copies of our Musical Man.

Now if we weren't so obsessive we could just wait around
And wish that Jim were a songwriting tank
But Jimmy hasn't been prolific since the late '70s
Could his muse be exhausted? Have his song-giants shrank?
Because the sheet music's BLANK!

If we could only clone Jim Steinman he could write us more songs
We'd have a brand-new top-ten hit every week
We'd have at least a hundred Jimmys pounding ivory keys
'Cause we'd be breeding Jimmy Steinmans like sheep
If we could only clone Jim Steinman then they'd write us more songs
Like God wrote music and was jacked up on speed
And Rory Dodd would have no free-time so his wife would get pissed
Since we'd be breeding Jimmy Steinmans like sheep!

Remember waiting forever for the oft-delayed release of Bat II?
Don't get me wrong the thing is great but it was mostly old songs
Some even older than fans born in 1982

And so we sit here just waiting for whatever Steinman news may befall
Forced to cope with hacking copycats like Diane Warren
Making Jimmy Steinman Rip-offs(Out of Nothing at All)

Well if we weren't so addicted it'd be no big deal
Because there's lots of other fun to be had
Still got good sex and good drugs, if not our choice Rock N' Roll
That's two out of three, and so it shouldn't be bad
But somehow it's still BAD!

If we could only clone Jim Steinman he could write us more songs
Like God wrote music and was jacked up on speed
We'd have eleven-hundred Steinmans dripping blood on the keys
'Cause we'd be breeding Jimmy Steinmans like sheep

Well we were up in the Highlands, we were down in the lab
We'd gone eleven days without any sleep
Aw, we were replicating enzymes, we were splicing up genes
And now we're breeding Jimmy Steinmans like sheep!

(Breed'em like sheep)
Let's face it someday Jim won't write anymore
(Breed-em like sheep)
Which comes first, burn-out or Death?
(New top ten hit every week)
And to how much brillance can one human give birth,
Before he draws his last breath?

(Breed'em like sheep)
There's just one Darkness we can never let fall
(Breed'em like sheep)
Total Eclipse of His Art
(Splicing up genes)
Now Jim can not only complete "Neverland,"
He can play every part.

(Breed'em like sheep)
For all the songs that set our souls burning bright
(Breed'em like sheep)
The songs that rocked us to sleep
(His songs are jacked up on speed)
And all the epics Jim just needs time to write,
we've gotta clone The Man and breed'em like sheep

If we could clone him we could breed him like sheep

Well we'd be up in the Highlands, we'd be down in the lab
It wouldn't matter if we got any sleep
We'd replicate Jim's enzymes, duplicate all his genes
And we'd be cloning Jimmy Steinman like sheep.............






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Previous: re: September 7th 2008 - Jaycee 05:12 am UTC 08/12/10
Next: re: Parody: Breed'em Like Sheep - Steven 04:41 pm UTC 08/09/10

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