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| re: I Use My Post Just Like A Bandage, I Use My Post Just Like A Wound | |
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pidunk 09:46 pm UTC 06/22/07 |
| In reply to: | re: I Use My Post Just Like A Bandage, I Use My Post Just Like A Wound - Klasien 09:33 pm UTC 06/22/07 |
> this stuff happens to me everywhere in real life, without > cause, people just not liking me even before they know me > at all. So I see through you. > > > You said that in your post and it makes me wonder. If so > many people react that way to you... how can you still say > it is all them and not you?? Really good question, really strange answer. Because they literally don't know me, and I literally don't know them. They never spoke to me, I never spoke to them. People know who I am, they show their disdain based on something I don't even become privy to learn, and I am stuck with it. I used to go through all the introspection, all the searching for ways I could be better, nicer, more polite, more amiable, more attractive in a social sense, more able to be taken seriously, more able to be noticed, more able to be asked if I want to have lunch while everyone else is having lunch. I went through the clothing changes, eyeglass changes, lipstick changes, makeup changes, inflection changes, interest showing changes, favor offering changes, and everything. Everything, ad nausum, until finally I learned, that it had nothing to do with me at all!!! >You say you see through us > but do you see yourself? I'm always a work in progress but I like it when I see myself. I like who I believe I am. When I don't see a quality in myself I like and think I can change that, I usually figure out a way to go about making that change. I get to like myself better, but the ones who are fixed on not liking me just don't. It's almost as if a law of nature. I see through those who exhibit the same patterns I see on the face-to-face stuff. I don't mean everyone. I don't have to say anything more about that. Like I said, they know who they are. > And yes, I have been in plenty of situations where I had > the same feeling, so I do feel I know what I am > saying/asking here! Klasien, you knock me over sideways sometimes with the things you think you have in common with me. Are we related? > I am not saying that just because you are > different/weird/whatever they have a right to treat you > that way, but doesn't it make you think?? It really seems to me to be one of two possible things, and maybe a blend of them, but since I never get to be told, I don't know. It's either because my mother decided a long time ago that someone had to do something to free her of me in her life, and she found people who would help her do that; or, it is because the heritage being the Russian throne and all in exile and some things related to peoples' quest for world domination, and such like that. The reason why my mother got help in the first place is because of the family heritage and position, but how much that really has to do with it, I don't know. All I know is that this thing started when I was born, and it's grown to outrageious proportions. I can't go anywhere without people knowing me. Its like they all migrated to California just to mess my head up. But, most of the time I don't have to think of it. I only have to think of it when they are being dufuses and showing it. | |
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