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| re: I Use My Post Just Like A Bandage, I Use My Post Just Like A Wound | |
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Klasien 10:22 am UTC 06/23/07 |
| In reply to: | re: I Use My Post Just Like A Bandage, I Use My Post Just Like A Wound - pidunk 09:46 pm UTC 06/22/07 |
| > > And yes, I have been in plenty of situations where I had > > the same feeling, so I do feel I know what I am > > saying/asking here! > > Klasien, you knock me over sideways sometimes with the > things you think you have in common with me. Are we > related? > no, I just wanted to prevent this to become a 'where the hell do you come from' discussion. You don't have to be related to accept you can both have a hard life! K. > > > > this stuff happens to me everywhere in real life, without > > cause, people just not liking me even before they know me > > at all. So I see through you. > > > > > > You said that in your post and it makes me wonder. If so > > many people react that way to you... how can you still say > > it is all them and not you?? > > Really good question, really strange answer. Because they > literally don't know me, and I literally don't know them. > They never spoke to me, I never spoke to them. People know > who I am, they show their disdain based on something I > don't even become privy to learn, and I am stuck with it. > > > I used to go through all the introspection, all the > searching for ways I could be better, nicer, more polite, > more amiable, more attractive in a social sense, more able > to be taken seriously, more able to be noticed, more able > to be asked if I want to have lunch while everyone else is > having lunch. I went through the clothing changes, > eyeglass changes, lipstick changes, makeup changes, > inflection changes, interest showing changes, favor > offering changes, and everything. Everything, ad nausum, > until finally I learned, that it had nothing to do with me > at all!!! > > > >You say you see through us > > but do you see yourself? > > I'm always a work in progress but I like it when I see > myself. I like who I believe I am. When I don't see a > quality in myself I like and think I can change that, I > usually figure out a way to go about making that change. I > get to like myself better, but the ones who are fixed on > not liking me just don't. It's almost as if a law of > nature. I see through those who exhibit the same patterns > I see on the face-to-face stuff. I don't mean everyone. I > don't have to say anything more about that. Like I said, > they know who they are. > > > > I am not saying that just because you are > > different/weird/whatever they have a right to treat you > > that way, but doesn't it make you think?? > > It really seems to me to be one of two possible things, > and maybe a blend of them, but since I never get to be > told, I don't know. It's either because my mother decided > a long time ago that someone had to do something to free > her of me in her life, and she found people who would help > her do that; or, it is because the heritage being the > Russian throne and all in exile and some things related to > peoples' quest for world domination, and such like that. > The reason why my mother got help in the first place is > because of the family heritage and position, but how much > that really has to do with it, I don't know. All I know is > that this thing started when I was born, and it's grown to > outrageious proportions. I can't go anywhere without > people knowing me. Its like they all migrated to > California just to mess my head up. > > But, most of the time I don't have to think of it. I only > have to think of it when they are being dufuses and > showing it. > > | |
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